Annual General Meeting January 31st 2009
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Arrival
and Mass: On the Eve of Bridget’s Day over 80 members
of the Bethanygroups from around the country braved
the cold and
wind to arrive in Milltown Park for our Annual General Meeting. It
was good to renew acquaintances and to greet newcomers. Mass was
celebrated
by Fr. Myles O’Reilly, our Spiritual Director, and we remembered
in prayer those who had died during the past year especially Bethany
members and their relatives.
Business of the day: Reports were efficiently given
by the Chairman, Frank O’Hara, Secretary, Mary O’Callaghan
and Treasurer, Moira Staines.
Speaker: After tea our guest speaker, Sean Brophy,
inspired us with his life story and his Haiku poetry. The stillness
in the room while he spoke
was a witness to how deeply the audience was touched. We then spent
time in small groups sharing our responses to his story and to his
Haiku poetry.
People spoke of the stark, deep imagery, and of how their souls were
touched by it.
News from the West: Later Sister Mary Glennon described
the way Bethany is spreading to several parishes in Galway and other
counties through
the courses organised in Esker Retreat House in Athenry.
Changes on the General Executive Council: Having given generously of
their time and skills for the past three years it was time for two
members of the Executive, Jo Fitzgibbon and Eilish Goulding, to move
on. As there
were no nominations for election two people were coopted for the coming
year: Noel McEvoy and Gobnait O’Grady.
Presentations were made to Jo and Eilish in appreciation of their service
to the organisation through the GEC. Sr. Sheila was welcomed back to
the Bethany after her recent time of ill health, and finally a presentation
was made to the outgoing Chairman, Frank
O’Hara for his unstinting
generosity in guiding the organisation through the past three years.
He was given a glass tear drop holding another inside; he was deeply
moved by the beautiful symbolism involved in this, and we are told
it has pride of place in his home! We are glad that Frank can stay
on the
Executive as an ex officio member for the coming year!
Closure: The Annual General Meeting of 2009 ended
with a celebratory lunch at 2.00pm. Appreciation was expressed to
Milltown Institute for
its hospitality and efficiency.
Review of the Annual General Meeting
The feedback submitted by members was carefully considered at the
first meeting of the new Executive, and the committee members added
their own evaluations. There was general agreement that the event
was very successful and well organised. Changing the Mass time to
the beginning of the day was welcomed, and the careful timing of
each section helped keep the event running smoothly. The catering
staff was congratulated for their cooking, courtesy and efficiency,
and the guest speaker was considered a great gift to us.
Awareness of the difficulties of early morning travel, especially
from the West was acknowledged. Various options will be considered
when planning for next year’s event, such as beginning later,
or suggesting that people plan to arrive after the Mass. A cup of
tea or coffee is always welcome on arrival; again we will explore
this possibility, while recognising some logistical problems!
Thank you for your support and feedback. This will help us prepare
well in advance of next year’s AGM.
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The Bethany
Bereavement
Residential Weekend
The
Bethany Bereavement Residential weekend took place in Orlagh Retreat
Centre from Friday 20th to Sunday 22nd February 2009 and seventeen
people attended.
The participants were all ages and came from all walks of life with the
common link of trying to come to terms with their grief and loss.
As in the past it was marvellous to see the support of the participants
for each other and to view their journey over the weekend. The general
feeling was one
of optimism and hope for the future.
Although the weekend was tinged with a little sadness knowing that this
would be the last weekend to be held in Orlagh for the present. Orlagh
is not available from June 2009 and the future is a little uncertain.
However I am quietly confident that this is only a temporary situation
and look forward to the day we return.
In the meanwhile the next Residential Bereavement weekend will be held
in Manresa Jesuit Retreat House, Clontarf Road from Friday 20th November
2009 to Sunday 22nd November 2009 and further information will be available
later in the year.
Anne Butler.
Notice Board................. The next Residential Bereavement weekend will be held in Manresa Jesuit Retreat House, Clontarf Road from Friday 20th November 2009 to Sunday 22nd November 2009 and further information will be available later in the year. Date for your diary: Fr. Flan Lynch, will lead a Day of Reflection in the Parish Centre, Castleknock, Dublin12, on 3rd October 2009. Mass at 9.30am and talk at 10.00am Lunch (provided) 1.00pm - 2.00pm Finishing at 4.00pm. AGM reviews: Please send your review of the AGM to the GEC as soon as possible, if you have not already done so. Open Day: Bereavement Counselling Services of Ireland on Saturday 25th April in Trinity College, Dublin. For further information phone: 01 8391766 (9.30am to 1.00pm Monday to Friday). The new contact list is enclosed with this Newsletter. The colour for 2009 is cream. Please discard all others! For extra copies please apply to the GEC. |
Members of the General Executive for 2009:
Myles O'Reilly SJ (Spiritual Director), Winnie Keogh (Chairperson), Moira
Staines (Secretary), Noel McEvoy (Treasurer), Anne Butler, Mary O'Callaghan,
Gobnait O'Grady, Frank O'Hara, Marion Reynolds SSL, Dermot Rogan, Gerry
Ryan.
For further information please contact: Bethany Bereavement Support Group,
c/o Rathfarnham Parish Centre, Willbrook Road, Rathfarnham, Dublin 14.
Bethany Phone: 087 9905299
Email: bethanysupport@eircom.net
Website: www.bethany.ie
 I used writing
as a therapy for the great loss of my wife, Emily. What had I to
celebrate when
she died? I tried to move quickly from “How awful that she should
have died” to “How fortunate that she should have lived”.
So, I wrote a book of poetry entitled ‘Loving Emily’ that
celebrated her life but barely touched on my sense of loss.Afterwards I realised that I was in denial. I hadn’t really acknowledged my feelings and dealt with my grief. Having read Elizabeth Kubler-Ross on the five stages of grieving I gave labels to my own grieving process – bittersweet love, soul pain, grief observed and prayer for acceptance. The start of the year 2002 was accompanied by a feeling of optimism within myself that I had not felt for nearly three years. I was developing a greater capacity to live in the present moment aided by daily periods of meditation. Living in the present assisted me in maintaining a real sense of spiritual connection with my partner, free of the wistful loss of the past or of the anxiety of that loss in the future. I began to write haiku poems at this time. This is a seven centuries old Japanese form of poem, traditionally but not exclusively written as three lines of five, seven, and five syllables respectively. A haiku, like other forms of poem is intended to express and evoke emotion. These tiny poems are packed with meaning, normally in the present tense. Their subject matter is normally Nature, especially the seasons, but can embrace all of life. They typically gain their effect not only by suggesting a mood but also by conveying a clear picture to the reader that serves as a starting point for trains of thought and emotion. Because of their brevity, they are short on detail, leaving the reader to fill in the entire scene for himself or herself. I published a collection of my poems called, ‘Elegy and other poems’. This book is not the story of my life, rather the stories of grief writ large and small from my life from the spring of 2002. Readers may be bemused, entertained or just mildly interested in my doings. My aim is none of these. Rather, my wish is that the reader will find his or her own face there, find himself or herself blown into a world of excitement, terror, confusion, searching for love, lovemaking, yearning, soul pain, desolation, joy or tranquillity. My  hope is that at least one poem will resonate with some readers, that
will swell their hearts and perhaps stimulate them to write the poems
of their own lives. My hope is that they may experience the peace and
tranquillity that comes from healing oneself, even if one’s grief
is so profound as to require the support of a skilled therapist. |
Emily February snow… The first time we noticed Our eyes meet in love Stretched in a deck chair Sun bronzing your pretty face_ Straw hat hides your pretty hair Knitting
pretty coats… In San
Francisco… Your
silhouette… Thirty
five years… Our wedding day leaves You sit in bed one day What do you want me Dying
breath expires… Soul is in torment |
Soul Pain continued... Help me God to join Again two souls connected Since the dawn of time Waves of anguished Trembling I cry out Prayer for acceptance Onto innocent Keep me alert to Help me Lord Jesus Close my eyes Give me the peace of Elegy Swan and her cygnets Stream runs to river Until I can see |
It
is a great honour to chair the Bethany organisation. I hope and pray
I will serve you and those to whom you minister as faithfully
as possible. I work with ten others on the Executive Council, and I am
indeed privileged to have the support of such a dedicated group. We meet
formally once a month for two hours, and on other occasions as the need
arises. Your concerns are central to our work, and we like to hear from
you. More and more parishes are sending people for Bethany training, and
we are very pleased to do all we can to facilitate these.People sometimes ask us about ways to spend their grant money. You may find it helpful to buy some of the CDs, ‘The Grieving Journey’ so that you can offer them on loan or as gifts to the bereaved. It is also good to have a good supply of books available. Veritas and Cathedral Books have great selections.
We also encourage you to organise talks on various aspects of bereavement. Sometimes a few neighbouring parishes find it helpful to do this together. This is another way to spend your money!
We sympathise with Nancy Mc Dermot, Killucan on the death of her brother Kieran and to Marian Connell, Foxfield who lost her grandson, aged 17 yrs in an accident in England. We send best wishes to Sinead Mc Creevy, Killcullen who is very ill at the moment.
If possible bereaved Bethany Members should stand down from ministering to the bereaved for a year and be supported by the group. Remember that those who care for others will themselves need care at vulnerable times.
We would love to hear from you. Perhaps you would write an article for our next newsletter! Sharing your experience with others may help them to do something creative to overcome a difficulty!
In the meantime we ask for God’s blessing on your ministry of
Moira
Stains was inspired to write the following after hearing
Sean's presentation on Haiku poetry.
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| Death
of my mother 10 February 2003 Snowdrops The snowdrops
peeping The one who
treasured Her wish
to die For he took
her home I see them
peeping |
Death
of my Aunt Bridget 1 February 1980 St. Bridget’s Day February
snow St. Bridget’s
Day She was a
child of Bridget A carpet
of white But memories
do not fade |
compassion and love. As you leave your comfortable home to go out in the cold and rain on your Bethany ministry know that you are supported by all those who are doing similar work, and you are appreciated by those to whom you listen in ways you may never know.
Thanks
Thanks to the many parish groups who have returned their annual reports
to the General Executive. This information is of great use to us as
we try to coordinate the work and needs of the overall organisation.
If you have not already done so, please accept this as a reminder,
and know that your input will be welcome!
Setting up a Bethany Group?
If you know of Parish Council which is considering setting up a Bethany
support Group we will be happy to visit them before they make a final
decision. This will enable them to get clarity about the structures
and the training. For further information contact Winnie at 4943142
Recommended Reading for bereaved
children
Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley (London Harper Collins,
1994)
Best Friends: Holly and Jake going through life changes together by Ann
Keating (Dublin: Our Lady’s Hospice)
Remembering Mum: Ginny Perkins and Leon Morris (London: A & C Black)
River Boy by Tim Bowler (Oxford University Press)